Everybody knows 63 precedes 64. This makes sense and does not mean much. And then they come to me this week via email from The Book of Changes, the I’Ching, which I have not read – yet – and bring up gates 63 and 64 in my head. 63 — The Gate of Doubt. After Completion. And then 64 — The Gate of Confusion. Before Completion. Now I am confused. 63 precedes 64; After completion precedes Before completion. Where did this begin? Where did I begin? In 63, two Saturns ago. Is that coincidence? No such thing. 58 years of reliable confusion. But I am getting ahead of myself. Doubt after completion is gate 63. I am sensing the past: did I do right? With each beginning a completion? I doubt it. In the now, I am mapping our future in a pile of diapositive slides. I doubt the blur of colors and shades. Glimpses ring through inconsistently. Tomorrow and yesterday dance beautifully, and the music is playing just now. And now, I am accepting to make sense of the past, the gift of gate 64. I am consistently confused, and yesterday and tomorrow dance perfectly. Infinite and null beginnings. I doubt this is the end. In all this con-fusing mystery is the beginning.

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Time to catch up with my weekly writing course. This is week 6, and the year has fewer than 46 weeks left.